Episode 30. Jonny May – From ‘fearful reaction’ to ‘informed connection’

This week’s conversation is with Jonny May, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Beacon Counseling. Jonny calls Austin, Texas home where he lives with his wife, Mica May, founder of May Designs, and their three beautiful children ages 7 – 11. Today, he graciously agreed to sit down and talk through the narrative shift many of us are experiencing amidst the COVID 19 pandemic. Sharing ways that we can engage life with new awareness and clarity in spite of the uncertainty we feel, Jonny provides a wealth of information empowering us to make the most of the circumstances we are facing.

At a point where we are all trying to figure out a “new normal” amidst an enormous amount of uncertainty and fear, Jonny breaks down the science behind why the ‘unknown’ and the human brain make horrible bedfellows.  And let’s face it – there’s an enormous amount of unknown and fear for everybody as we attempt to navigate day to day life in the midst of such unprecedented circumstances. It’s the perfect storm for stress and resentment to build quickly and Jonny encourages us to be intentional about acknowledging the emotions and giving ourselves permission to let them be complex. He says we all have a choices to make when it comes to being proactive and more aware of our people; to STOP, listen and to pay attention to the things we would normally overlook and to be aware of how those choices impact us daily.

We talk a lot about relationship tension during quarantine, specifically as it relates to marriage and intimate relationships with family and friends. Jonny says it is critical that we are extremely careful about the way we choose to view others in our lives, noting we need to be conscious that we are actually seeing others in their humanity and not just a fake narrative we have created about them to protect or justify ourselves. We both agree, there is nobody who would say they are just ‘killing it’ in their relationships right now, regardless of what their Instagram feed might tell you. Jonny shares how we can either allow emotional paper cuts to slowly bleed us out or we can use them to highlight the areas of our relationship that need attention and find ways to build each other up. He shares some profound wisdom about becoming a safe space to connect with one another and how safety is the cornerstone for ALL healthy relationships. 

There was so much wisdom from our conversation that has already been applicable in my life this week and I know you will find it so empowering too. As we navigate these uncharted territories together, I hope this episode will provide an awareness and appreciation for people in your lives and that it will remind you to be intentional with this time, One thing I am continually learning is to focus on are the privileges I have have amidst the unknown – a place to shelter, the ability to work, access to food and healthcare just to name a few. It doesn’t make everything easy, but it is helping me keep perspective. A quote from our conversation that has stuck with me is “gratitude creates beautiful, humble people” which is something I hope I can become more of throughout this journey.